a few things id like done
waltz with someone
kiss someone in the rain
go to new zealand
pet a koala
learn to surf
learn to rock climb
sing in a band
become a rock star
fall in love...many times over
watch the stars with the one i love
actually get something ive worked hard to get
move to la or new york
become what im truly meant to be
spend the week with my two best friends anywhere they want to
learn to trust again
get married
have 2 kids and 5.2 dogs
live on my own
be considered sexy when im in sweat pants and a t-shirt and no makeup
sing with dave matthews...get stoned with dave matthews
live up to my own expectations
be in two places at once
learn to let go
be in a movie
get the guy in the end
skydive
get out of the car in a really scary place
date a punk boy
date a preppy boy
get through an entire year of school
get my tongue pierced
have people take me seriously


i know theres more...but i can't think of them now...there in no particular order..or anything...just things that should get done
- posted by Jen84 @ 5:28 PM (0) comments

 
my real song..but take it for what its worth...this song is my mother and i.....well....who we are and the things that have made us who we are...

LA Song
By: BETH HART
From the CD: SCREAMIN FOR MY SUPPER

She hangs around the boulevard
She's a local girl with local scars
She got home late
She drank so hard the bottle ached
& she tried
but nothin's clear in a bar full a flies
So she takes
She understands when she gives it away
She says
Man I gotta get outta this town
Man I gotta get outta this pain
Man I gotta get outta this town
Outta this town & out of L.A.
She's gotta gun
She got a gun she calls the lucky one
She left a note right by the phone
Don't leave a message 'cause this ain't no home
& she cried
She cried so long her tears ran dry
Then she laughed
'Cause she knew she was never comin' back
She said
Man I'm gonna get outta this town
Man I'm gonna get outta this pain
Man I'm gonna get outta this town
Outta this town & out of L.A.
It's all she loves It's all she hates It's all too much for her
to take she can't be sure just where it ends or where
the good life begins
So she took a train
to a little old town without a name
She met a man he took her in
but fed her all the same bullshit again
'Cause he lied
he lied like a salesman sellin' flies
So she screamed
it's a different place
but the same old thang
It's all I love It's all I hate It's all too much for me to take
I can't be sure where it begins or if the good life lies within
So she said
Man I gotta get out of this town
Yeah now I gotta get back on that train
Man I gotta get out of this town
I'm outta my pain
So I'm goin' back to L.A.




- posted by Jen84 @ 11:21 PM (0) comments

 
my theme song...er...just the song that defines me
Grey Street

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street

She thinks, “Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world,
But I can’t get out of this place”

There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

How she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night
And though she swears it doesn’t listen
There’s still a hope in her it might

She says, “I pray
But they fall on deaf ears,
Am I supposed to take it on myself?
To get out of this place”

There’s loneliness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

There’s a stranger speaks outside her door
Says take what you can from your dreams
Make them as real as anything
It’d take the work out of the courage

But she says, “Please
There’s a crazy man that’s creeping outside my door,
I live on the corner of Grey Street and the end of the world”

There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
It’s more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She could change everything about her using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
It breaks her heart
To grey
- posted by Jen84 @ 9:07 PM (0) comments

 
okay. so let me clarify something as everybody else has to do. what i write in my journal is what i choose to write. take it as you want. but its what i feel like writing. most of the time its just momentary thoughts. not a whole lot of time spent of every precise word and how its going to effect everybody else. frankly, i don't give a damn what people think of the things i write. so ha!
- posted by Jen84 @ 11:57 PM (0) comments

 
you ever have those days were you just wanna die. well today is mine. i got in another car crash and that just shot my nerves. i don't have a car and won't for who knows how long. im so lonely. i needed a friend really badly and i have noone. my best friend holli doesn't even want to hang out with me because of the convienient excuse that she didn't have a car. wtf? if she just got in a car wreck i would be right there by her side making her feel better. but im not good enough for that. im just not that good of a friend. shes always leaving me out of things and never returns my calls. so im done. im done being nice. im done wishing for something that isn't there. she will easily find another best friend, of that i have no doubt. as for me, ill be fine. i always am. but ill never have another best friend. i don't want one. as much as i want a best friend/boyfriend im fine being alone. it suits me well. im good at keeping to myself and just letting the world pass me by. its the easiest thing to do. i keep out of peoples way and they keep out of mine. i don't owe anybody anything and they owe me nothing. its the perfect plan. so to those of you i do talk to, enjoy your life. live it to the fullest and love deeply. i hope your turns out better than mine did.
- posted by Jen84 @ 9:59 PM (0) comments

 
1st of all, go kerry edwards!

2nd of all, i read the notebook, yes people i read. fuck off. im standing in the front of eckerds about to cry my eyes out and i can't. people are asking whats wrong and all i say is im reading the notebook and they just smile. i also read his new book nights in randthe, charlotte you would love this book since you loved the notebook so much.

well not much more to say.
so im gonna go watch tv and fall asleep and sleep in tomorrow. no 9-5 for me tomorrow! woohoo!
- posted by Jen84 @ 10:33 PM (0) comments

 
so theres been some interesting things happening lately. but for now, ill just keep you in the dark. i don't feel like typing it all now. i am way too lazy. lol

- posted by Jen84 @ 7:39 PM (0) comments